The Cognitive Rampage Podcast #119: We Want You

This podcast is going to upset a few of you. This is how our Military literally preys on small town men and women and their dreams to escape their small town. Making promises, literally lying and withholding information upon recruiting. Sure those who sign up are responsible for their choice, but these are just kids they are temping with “free college” (which is BS), traveling the world, and a better resume. No one told these boys what was really about to happen next.

This is the brochure picture they use. What does paddle boarding have to do with joining the Military? Check out the top 10 lies Military recruiters SOMETIMES say to recruits at the bottom of this post:

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My book (1st Ed only available until Jan ’17, after it will never be printed like it is again (It’ll be a limited Ed)
The 2nd Edition releases in Jan ’17 along with the audiobook.

Top 10 Lies (Some) Recruiters Tell Applicants

1. Your chances of being sent to a combat zone are slim.

Truth: This depends primarily upon (1) your branch of service and (2) your military job. For the Army and Marine Corps, almost everyone will get a chance or two to play in the sand, regardless of Military Occupation Specialty (job). Heck, the Marines have even been known to send band members to perform combat missions in Iraq. These two branches do not have enough folks in the combat MOSs to do the job, so they routinely deploy non combat folks to help out.

Your chances of being deployed (on the ground) to Iraq and Afghanistan are not as great in the Air Force and Navy, and depend much on your military job. However, both services task members (regardless of their specialty) to train and deploy with the Army in Iraq, under a program called “in-lieu-of,” or ILO, tasking. The active duty Air Force has a couple of thousand deployed under this program at any given time, and the active duty Navy about 5,000. Of course, depending on your job, you could also be deployed on a ship patrolling the Gulf region (Navy), or on any number of Air Bases (Air Force) in and around Iraq and Afghanistan. The Coast Guard keeps about five or six patrol boats in the Gulf to assist with port security.

2. You are much more likely to get murdered in your home town than you are to get killed or wounded in combat.

Truth: On average, 50 military members are killed in action and 481 are wounded in action each month in Iraq, although the numbers are down sigificantly for the past six months. The Army and the Marine Corps bear the brunt of casualties in these combat areas.

While the numbers fluctuate somewhat from month to month depending on rotation schedules, there are about 133,000 troops deployed to Iraq at any given time. If you live in a city with a population of 133,000 and you have 50 murders per month and 481 violent crimes per month which result in injuries, I’d move, if I were you.

Military members serving in places like Iraq and Afghanistan are heroes –in part because they are doing dangerous jobs in dangerous places. There is no such thing as a safe combat zone.

3. You are absolutely guaranteed to get the job listed on your enlistment contract.

Truth: What is actually guaranteed (somewhat) is that you will be trained in a specific job. Once training is complete, there is no guarantee that you will actually be assigned to perform that specific job. To be honest, in most cases you probably will. However (in the Army especially), it’s not really all that uncommon to arrive on a post after training, only to find out they have too many of your particular job on that post, and be detailed to do something else, instead (such as driving vehicles at the motor pool). Of course, in combat zones, any MOS can be cross-tasked to perform combat jobs.

Even the training is not necessarily guaranteed. While there are some exceptions, the general rule is if you fail to complete the training for the “guaranteed job” in your enlistment contract, due to something the military considers to be their own fault (such as the job is eliminated/reduced, the job standards change, or you fail to qualify for a security clearance through no fault of your own), then the service will generally give you the choice of re-training into a different job, or an honorable discharge. In this case, the choice is yours.

If, on the other hand, you fail to complete training for the job for something the military considers to be your fault (such as academic failure, getting into trouble, or being denied a security clearance because of false statements), whether you are re-trained or separated is a decision made by your commander, and/or the Military Personnel Gods. You get no say in the matter, and often don’t even get a say about what job you will be re-trained into.

4. If you don’t like the military, you can simply quit.

Truth: No you can’t. Not liking the military is not an acceptable reason for discharge. Even if you quit trying in basic training, resulting in failing the program, the drill instructors will first try everything else imaginable to keep you in, including “recycling” you so you spend extra time in basic. If the commander ultimately decides that discharge is the only course of action, you’ll be reassigned to a special unit to await discharge processing. I’ve seen the process take several weeks, even months. It’s not uncommon for those being discharged from basic training to still be there, long after the folks who enlisted on the same day are graduated and gone on their way to job training.

In order to be discharged from the military, there has to be an acceptable reason for discharge. For details, see my article, Getting Out of the Military.

5. If you refuse to ship out to basic training you will go to jail.

Truth: This is the opposite from Lie #4. Some applicants have been told (after signing the Delayed Enlistment Program Contract) that they can’t change their minds. Some applicants have been told they would be subject to arrest and forced to go to basic, some have been told they would go to jail, and I’ve even had a few tell me they were told they would lose their citizenship or lose the right to apply for citizenship if they dropped out of the DEP. Heck, one recruit I know of was even told it would go onto his “permanent record” and follow him for life (I don’t even know what a “permanent record” is, unless it’s the one my third grade teacher kept threatening me with). The truth is, you can change your mind at anytime up until the time you actually ship out to basic training and go onto active duty. I cover this in detail in my Delayed Enlistment Program article.

6. Once you complete your enlistment you can get out and won’t be called back again.

Truth: Everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY) who enters the military for their first time incurs a total eight-year service commitment. It doesn’t matter if your contract says you’re enlisting for two, three, four or five years active duty, you are obligated for a total of eight years. If you sign a six-year Guard/Reserve contract, and elect not to reenlist at the end of the six years, you will still be obligated for an additional two years.

Time not spent on active duty, or in the drilling reserves is spent in the IRR (Individual Ready Reserves). While in the IRR, one does not get paid, nor do they perform drill, but can be involuntarily recalled to active duty at any time. Right now, only the Army and Marine Corps have been recalling IRR members. The Army has recalled about 6,000 IRR members and the Marine Corps about 1,000. The Air Force, Navy and Coast Guard is not currently involuntarily recalling IRR members.

In addition to IRR recalls, a program called STOP-LOSS allows the service to prevent (delay) separations and retirements during times of conflict. The Army and Marine Corps place individuals under STOP-LOSS when the person/unit is officially notified of an upcoming deployment (usually about 90 days before the deployment date) until 90 days following return from the deployment. The Air Force, Navy and Coast Guard do not currently have any STOP-LOSS programs in place, but have used it in the past.

7. You have a great chance of getting the assignment (location) you want.

Truth: Active duty assignments are based on the “needs of the service.” (There are exceptions, such as a qualifying humanitarian assignment, but these are really hard to qualify for.) In other words, when assignments are selected, wherever your particular branch needs your particular warm body the most is where you’re going to go. If there is a tie, your “dream sheet” (assignment preference form) will be taken into consideration. In other words, if Base A and Base B both need you the most, and you have Base B on your “dream sheet,” you’ll probably get it. On the other hand, if you have Base C on your dream sheet, you’ll be going to either Base A or B, regardless of your preferences. Of course, I’ve drastically over-simplified a fairly complex system, but those are the basics. For complete details, see my Assignment Information article.

In my 23-year Air Force career, I never once got my first choice (or even my second or third choice) for an assignment. On the other hand, one of my buddies put Hawaii as the first choice on his dream sheet in tech school and got it right off. (I beat him senseless with a coconut shell). He continued on through a 20-year career, getting his first or second choice every single time. Dang those Assignment-Gods.

The Army does have a program which will guarantee some (mostly combat) recruits a guaranteed first duty assignment in a few cases. However, the guarantee is good for only 12 months. After that, the Army can reassign you anywhere it wants to.

Of course, for the Guard and Reserves you will be assigned to a specific location. This is because Guard and Reserve recruiters recruit for specific vacancies in specific Guard/Reserve units.

8. If you spend 20 years in the military you can retire and receive one-half of your pay for the rest of your life.

Truth: Close, but not quite. First of all, we’re only talking base pay, here. All of the allowances that you’ve gotten used to, such as housing allowance and food allowance, aren’t included. Second, if you joined the military in 1980 or later, your retirement pay is calculated based on your highest 36 month average of base pay, not your final base pay. In other words, if you are promoted to E-7 then retire a year later with 20 years of service, your retirement pay would be calculated based on two year’s average of your E-6 pay, and only one year’s average of your E-7 pay. It’s still not a bad deal, but not the 50 percent some are promised. More details can be found in Understanding Military Retirement Pay.

Additionally, all of your retirement pay may not belong to you. If you were married at any time during your military service, under the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act, any state divorce court can treat your current or future retirement pay as “community property” and award a portion of it to your ex-spouse. Considering 50 percent of military marriages end up in divorce, this is something to keep in mind.

You can also retire from the Guard or Reserves if you have 20 or more years of “qualifying service,” but can’t start receiving your retirement pay until you reach the age of 60. A “qualifying year” doesn’t mean a normal year. It’s based on earned “retirement points.” For details, see my Guard/Reserve Retirement Pay System Information Page.

9. They don’t yell in Basic Training anymore.

Truth: After hearing this from his recruiter, one young man emailed me immediately. It almost seemed as if he was disappointed at the thought that nobody would be yelling at him. (Go figure.) The truth is, Drill Instructors don’t yell AS MUCH as they did in years gone by. In the old days, if a recruit made a mistake, he/she would get screamed at whether it was the first day of basic or the last day. However, several years of study have shown this is not the most effective teaching method. Don’t worry, kiddies. You’ll still get to experience plenty of yelling, but mostly during the first part (two or three weeks) of basic. After than, you’ll find your Drill Sergeants taking on more of a mentoring (teaching) role. Of course if you screw up big, they very well may remind you that you’re in the military with a refresher yelling session.

This does not mean basic training has gone soft. In fact, ever since the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan, basic training (in all the branches) have begun to focus more on direct combat training than anytime before. Far less classroom instruction and far more actual combat training and practice “in the field.” Instead of learning how to balance checkbooks, recruits are spending their time learning how to deal with IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices), and learning how to shoot. Sound perfectly practical to me.

10. This is the modern military. We don’t cut off all of your hair during Basic anymore.

Truth. Okay, don’t laugh. I still hear this three or four times a year. I first heard this when I was in Basic Training in 1975. One of my flight-mates became extremely upset when he arrived at basic and saw all those shaved heads running around. His recruiter had told him they didn’t cut off all the hair anymore. (As the following weeks showed, this young man was not the brightest crayon on the drill pad.)

Yes, guys they still cut your hair in all the branches during basic training. The Navy is the only branch that also makes women cut their hair in basic (it must be cut so it is above the collar).

Reporting Recruiter Misconduct

So, what do you do if you run into an unethical recruiter? All military commands have senior officers who’s job it is to investigate wrong-doings, and the recruiting commands are no exception. If you report it to one of these officers, it will be investigated. While it often comes down to your word against the recruiter’s word, if a particular recruiter gets enough complaints against him/her, you can bet his/her bosses are going to start watching the recruiter a little more closely (they just hate answering those queries from those senior officers).

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